At 10,
I stood at the driveway twirling around in my Sunday dress
It was a blue with yellow ribbons
Me in my sandles, turning round and round
Waiting for dad to drive me to computer class
At 10,
I stood at the stairwell, tears welling in my eyes, tears running down my cheeks
Asking dad not to go, not knowing the implications of such a demand, only knowing that it needed to be said
I remember his expression.
Shock, sadness and guilt.
At 24,
I sat infront of the monitor, my heart thumping
Shock, sadness and disbelief
The very same night, I called my friend, choked with sadness, relating my story.
At 24,
I slept it away, hoping it was all a nightmare.
If I don't confront it, it doesn't exist
At 25,
I sat infront of the monitor, reading in disbelief
This time, it wasn't shock, sadness nor disbelief
It was simply reality at its harshest, heartbreak and loss.
At 25,
I'm waiting for that one call.. for that one email.
Simply waiting.
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